Ornaments for the Soul
The expectations of women in our Sikh and Punjabi community are endless: from behaviour to clothing, from cooking to cleaning, from careers and child raising.
One in particular, I have noticed is that of women being expected to wear jewelry. Many mothers and mothers-in-law, especially after marriage, pressure their daughters/daughters-in-law to wear gold and exhibit their possessions. In this pursuit, some families face financial and logistical difficulties in getting these "ornaments" for their daughters. This tradition continues over generations, despite having heard the common refrain of contemporary women, "No I will not wear all these. I am not into gold."
Why are we so caught up in such traditions? Or should I say why are we so engrossed with show and competition?
If we must give something to our daughters, why not gift them something they actually need and may be useful to them. The costume jewelry of today is good enough, fashionable and easily adaptable or changeable according to trends. And yet, it often draws negative judgment from others. I understand that many want to give gold and jewelry as a gesture of love or goodwill. But many women do not wear gold that often. For instance, one of my relatives never wore her real gold jewelry for over 20 years. So, what purpose did it serve her? Apparently, it's an asset; an asset to the point where it was a point of contention during her divorce.
What is the use of these external ornaments? What about those whose outer selves are adorned with gold but their inner selves lack virtues? When one gives one's daughter away, is one not parting with the biggest jewel in itself?
Gurbani addresses this very topic of inner versus outer beauty. The Gurus wrote many verses about what it means to be a truly beautiful person or a 'pretty' Kaur, and we can learn from these verses. I will share some simple, yet succinct messages with regards to the true adornment of a woman. I will also talk about the symbolic meanings of some ornaments in Gurbani, such as necklace, bracelet, ring, and eyeliner, etc.
We spend a lot of money, time, and effort on ornaments and accessories to enhance our physical beauty. But what about our inner selves - do we do the same to beautify our mind? Guru Sahib states that it is our mind that needs to be the pearl. To become a pearl, it requires a persistent effort to adorn the mind with good values such as humility, compassion, and forgiveness. Only when the mind is steady and beautiful, do we attain bliss.
man motee je gahṇaa hovai pauṇ hovai soot dhaaree
If the mind becomes the ornament of pearl and every breath the string (one becomes pleasing to the Divine and enjoys divine love). - GGS, 359
The best ornament that we can constantly wear around our neck is the one of consciousness of the Divine. It ensures that the Divine is always in our mind and such an embellishment truly enhances our beauty. Having the Divine Name always on our lips and in our hearts will ultimately beautify our lives. It helps us to notice and appreciate the beauty surrounding us, and not dwell on the negatives of others.
har har haar kaňṭh le pahirai daamodar daňt le-ee..
If she wears the necklace of God's Name around her neck and makes God's remembrance as her toothbrush (she revels in His divine union). - GGS, 359
When we are mindful of the Creator's omnipresence and lead a life with this awareness, then our mind is steadied and free. If we conquer our mind, we are aing good deeds with our hands. Such deeds and not expensive bangles beautify our hands. We go on to attain divine grace and are endowed with eternal happiness - these hold more value than external beauty which is never everlasting.
kar kar kartaa kaňgan pehirai in bidh chit dhare-ee.
If she makes the awareness of the Creator her bracelet and wears it around her wrist, (her mind becomes steady). - GGS, 359
We sometimes receive a ring at our betrothal ceremony and it remains on our finger, a constant pleasant memory and reminder of our loving engagement with our soul mate. The beautiful clothes further enhance our consciousness of the relationship and bring joy. Similarly, by leading our daily lives in the memory and awareness of the Divine, we embrace divine values and enrich ourselves spiritually. This will enhance our happiness. Love for the Divine in our hearts and living with such consciousness in our minds, is the most exalting beautification for our souls. This is what leads to internal harmony and bliss.
madhu-soodan kar muňdree
pahirai parmesar paṭ le-ee.
If she makes divine-remembrance her ring for her finger and takes divine-consciousness as her silken clothes (she attains union with the Divine). - GGS, 359
The virtue of patience imbued in our way of life and in our daily routine enhances our beauty more than the ornamental materials we use. Simplicity supported by virtues is the way advocated by Gurbani. Similarly, the vision of love towards the world is the element that will add the sparkle of divine beauty to our lives. Patience and love bring inner stability.
dheeraj dhaṛee baňdhaavai kaamaṇ sree-raňg surmaa de-ee.
If she makes patience the weaving of her braids and applies the eyeliner of divine love (she delights in the embrace of divine union). - GGS, 359
These verses, through a symbolic beautification of a bride, shed light on, how we need to spiritually decorate our lives rather than focusing on external beauty. External beautification does not help us to enlighten our beings, nor does it prepare us to embrace the Divine and receive life's blessings. Divinity and bliss dawn upon us only when we beautify our minds and purify our hearts. This is not to say we should not wear any jewelry or abandon it all, but it should not become our obsession or all consuming. We need to remember that, our real goal in life is to adorn our souls and minds with divinity.
My dear sisters, let us try to tread this path and pave the way for our generations ahead. We are the voices of today and tomorrow. We are the beautiful daughters of the age!
ਮਨ ਮੰਦਰਿ ਜੇ ਦੀਪਕੁ ਜਾਲੇ ਕਾਇਆ ਸੇਜ ਕਰੇਈ॥ ਗਿਆਨ ਰਾਉ ਜਬ ਸੇਜੈ ਆਵੈ ਤ ਨਾਨਕ ਭੋਗੁ ਕਰੇਈ॥
Nanak! If she lights the lamp of wisdom in the mansion of her mind and makes her body as the bed,
the King of Wisdom comes to her and embraces her into His union. - GGS, 359
Part of the article has been extracted from one of the issues from AWAT.
Those who wish to receive the gems of Gurbani from AWAT can register here: http://awordathought.com/
Australia
Ravin Kaur
