In this world we are all coveting and chasing a happy, peaceful and contented life. We all desire for a successful career, lots of money and materialist possessions as they make us really very happy. It gives us a feeling of fulfillment. Different people have different concepts of happiness. Some people get happy when they get a new car, new shoes or new dresses. Some people get happy when they have achieved something intellectually. Some people yearn for love and respect from others and they feel delighted when they get it. We are dependent on our outer factors for our happiness. Our happiness lies in the approval and recognition of others. Our happiness keeps fluctuating depending on the response of others.
We get happiness when we feel we are ahead of others or we have accomplished something which was not easy to attain as it gives us a feeling of superiority. We do not feel happy for something which we all possess or something which is common. Our joy knows no bounds when we feel we are unique in some skills and capabilities.
Every possession which makes us happy at a moment does not make us happy at another moment. As the story of our life unfolds and evolves, in different moments and different phases of our lives the meaning of our happiness changes. Life is always evolving. The concept of our happiness also varies with time. Nothing is permanent in this world, not even our thoughts and our happiness. Our happiness is very conditional. Subconsciously we all are looking for happiness which never fades away. We live in the constant fear of losing what we have in our lives. Our happiness is ephemeral and not eternal. Our happiness is wavering and fluctuating.
How to be happy all the times or how to make the best of our life. How to attain a state of mind which is always stable and in equipoise. How to attain a balanced state of mind which is not afflicted by fluctuations. Happiness which is not dependent on conditions. How to be happy with oneself always. How to be in high spirits always. How to enjoy the charm of life always. How to be successful in the game of life. What is the measure of success? Which life is successful? These are some of the questions which haunt our mind most of the times and we keep on pondering to get answers to these questions.
Here are some of the answers I got on my inner quest to decipher these enigmas. Successful life is always in gratitude and content while progressing at the same time. Successful life is not afflicted by the negative energy which comes from the vagaries of life. Blissful life breaks the shackles of life which bring us down. Blissful life connects with the higher source and bigger goals in life.
Happiness is leading a virtuous life. Doing things for others bring lot of happiness and contentment. That is the concept of Seva in Sikhism. To serve others unconditionally without expecting anything back. When you do for others without expecting it brings lots of happiness. When you give happiness to others it brings lots of happiness to your own life. The soul which is free of the burden of regrets is a blessed soul. It is the internal contentment which makes us feel blissful.
Love for learning also brings joy to the heart. Everyday learning something new brings lots of joy. This is the concept of being a Sikh. A Sikh is always learning and for a Sikh learning is a never-ending process.
Feeling happy for the happiness and success of others rather than feeling jealous. Looking at the sincere efforts and devotion of others and using it as an inspiration makes your own life progress. Learn from others may be younger or older to us. Everybody has something to teach us.
Take a hiatus from negative feelings. We are not competing with anybody. Everybody is on their own path in life. Everybody is trying to do the job assigned to them. We should try to do our best in whatever we do and enjoy the moments while performing the job.
We should be full of positive energy and positive approach towards life. Anything done with full heart and full devotion reaps good results and rewards. We should develop the virtue of patience. Hard work does not reap rewards instantly. We need to invest time and our efforts to get good results. It is the consistency which matters. We should keep on doing something which we are passionate about. The joy of doing something we are passionate about is a reward in itself as it blossoms our life and fills our life with fragrance. The joy is in the journey itself. The reward is in the process itself. We should keep doing and loving the work we do and the ultimate reward or the pinnacle of success will be there in front of us by itself. We should not wait for any special moment. We should keep enjoying every moment of our life. Life is never going to be perfect to be beautiful.
The beauty of life is in small things around us. We need to recognize them. Every moment of life is precious and valuable. Every person around us is important as everybody has Divine light in them. We should treat others with lots of respect and kindness, no matter they are older or younger to us. Respect given to others comes back with lots of respect. We should do everything unconditionally and not waiting for things to come back with the same magnitude. We need to develop this attitude and it can be developed by keeping a check on our thoughts constantly. We should ignore our negative thoughts and develop our good and kind thoughts. We need to nurture our mind with great care.
We should believe in ourselves. If we believe in ourselves and keep ourselves strong, we will feel happy and confident. We should apologize if we have committed some mistake as to err is human and if somebody asks for apology, we should be kind enough to grant apology as to forgive is divine.
Resilience is another valuable quality. We should be resilient and not throw tantrums and spoil the atmosphere for ourselves and others. If we want to be happy and productive, we need to be peaceful. Only peaceful mind is happy and productive.
Happiness is in small things and small activities. We should set small targets and reward ourselves after accomplishing them. Happiness can be enjoyed while treading the journey and not only after you reach your destination.
Surrendering to Hukam or higher command also leads to happiness. To have utmost faith in Higher command makes us content, cheerful and at peace.
We should always keep on doing something new and valuable. It brings lots of excitement in life and the feeling of fulfillment. Our work is our real identity and our real companion. Our work is what we are going to leave behind. We should be involved in constructive activities. It gives a sense of life worth living. Creating something or accomplishing a task brings happiness. Creativity is a virtue and also one of the attributes of Divine.
We should take care of our body. Healthy body is a sign of healthy mind. We should eat healthy and lean food. We should watch our meals what we are eating. We should develop good eating habits.
We should develop the ability to let go and be resilient. We should not hold on to grudges. Forgive and forget. This policy gives us a peaceful mind. A peaceful mind leads to a peaceful, productive and successful life.
Ramneet Kaur, Ph.D.
