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"Oh wow, you have beautiful hair! But you know what? You should tie it up so that you don't get any nazar!"

"Oh, you're in a relationship/getting engaged/married?! Make sure you don't post anything on social media so that you don't get any nazar!"

"Oh, today is your wedding day? Please let me apply some black kohl/kajal/eyeliner to your eyes and behind your ear so that you don't get any nazar!"

"Oh, new baby!? Let's put some of that same kohl/kajal/eyeliner to the babies eyes EVERYDAY so that the baby doesn't get nazar!"

WTF?!?!

Why are we spending our whole lives (literally from the day we are born to now) trying to avoid nazar?

Growing up in the Indian/Pakistani/Bangladeshi/Desi community I have always heard of the word Nazar and all of the things that we should do and not do in order to avoid it. What is nazar you ask? I believe the literal meaning of nazar is glance or attention (Fun fact. It's actually an arabic word! I did not know that!) But the loose meaning is "evil eye." Basically, when used in the context in the desi world, I would say that nazar means evil glance. And in many cases and contexts I would say "jealous glance."

Before I dwell into this more, I first need to point out the irony of nazar. The Indian community has always been obsessed with with other people think. Infact, "Log Kya Kahenge" is probably one of the  most common phrases that you will hear from parents, aunties, and uncles galore. A lot of what they do and think revolves around what other people think. They actually spend more money and show off more in order to create a greater image of themselves so that they can appease the worrisome question of "Log Kya Kahenge" They go to great lengths to do this. But please, let me point out one of the most ironic things that we do. We get married. We spend more money than we have to. We invite more people than we have. We make it a grand show and we gain a lot of attention. Yet, we must put kohl/kajal/black eyeliner on our brides and grooms so as to ward off the evil eye. Yet, aren't we the ones who initially attracted the evil eye by going through all of the trouble to get all of the attention?

Also, pause for a second. For those who do use the kohl behind the ears and on the babies' eyes, does  it matter if its kohl or Kajal or regular black eyeliner? What if we used black liquid eyeliner from Sephora? What if we used Kim Kardashian's new eyeliner or Kylie Jenner's new kyliner? Does it have to be made in India? What if it was made in China or Canada? Will it work the same to ward off the evil eye? Will one work better than the other? If so, I think I will get Kylie Jenner's kyliner. It seems to be working very well for her ;)

Is nazar the same thing as negative energy? Kind of sort of but not really (in my opinion.) When someone gives you nazar it certainly does stem from that person being negative and from that person having that negative energy. But giving someone nazar is almost like giving them a silent curse. It's kind of like that person is wanting you to fail. Whether it be a job, or a relationship, or simply just having long and shiny hair, they don't have it so they don't want you to have it. But the thing is, if we are to succeed in life, no amount of kohl, kajal, or black eyeliner is going to help. We just need one thing and one thing only: Naam.

God is everything. God is in everything. God manifests everything. Belief and remembrance and awareness of God will protect you more than all of the eyeliners in the world. This is where I must introduce the Laws of Attraction. In my opinion the core root of the laws of attraction deeply align with Sikhi.

You see, the laws of attraction state that everything is connected to each other. Our thoughts, our words, our actions, our realities, our fears, our doubts, our futures, our EVERYTHING. Everything is connected through energy. Energy that is within us. Energy that we release and energy that we absorb. To me, that is Ek Onkar. That energy is Waheguru. The entire universe is Ek Onkar. The entire universe was made and created by Ek Onkar! So of course, if Waheguru made the universe and if Waheguru is the universe and if Waheguru is inside me and inside of you and if Waheguru is all encompassing and surrounding and everywhere, is that not the same energy? (Have I lost you all yet? lol) I guess what I'm really trying to say is this: The universe and all of the energies of the universe is Waheguru. The universe and all of the energies of the universe is Ek Onkar. And everything is connected to that Ek Onkar.

If we as a human being and as spiritual soul are aligned to that energy, to Waheguru, then that's nothing but positive energy. But if we aren't aligned. If we get consumed by worldly stuff and we forget about God even for a moment, we're screwed. That moment could be when we are out shopping and trying on clothes and getting a little too absorbed into our looks. That moment could be when we are interacting with a member of the opposite gender and we get attention that makes us a little too confident about ourselves. That moment could happen anytime and anywhere. That moment could last for a minute, an hour, a day, a week, a month, a few years etc. etc. That moment can come and go and come back again. That moment without God allow all of the five vices to enter into us and take over. That moment that we forget about God is the moment that the positive energy leaves us and it is when all of the negative energy enters us and affects us. That moment is when we are vulnerable and it is when we allow all of the negativity and all of the nazars of the world to enter our soul. I've had these moments and I still have and struggle with these moments and they are not fun. That moment is when we are the most insecure about ourselves and our world.

Crazy stuff. I know right?! But it's true. It's so true. Have you ever been around someone so happy and positive that just being in their presence makes you happy too? And on the flip side, have you ever been around someone so negative that just being in their presence makes you very uncomfortable? Have both of these people sometimes actually been the same person? One moment they are positive and the next moment they can be negative. That is a transfer of energies. And every single one of us can feel energy. It is a feeling that surpasses all 5 senses. It is knowingness and awareness of our soul in relation to all other souls.

So back to the nazar stuff. Every time someone has told me to be aware and to be careful of nazar, I've always asked that person the same question. Do you think one person's nazar is more powerful that Waheguru and Waheguru's hukam? If every single person on this earth were to give me nazar and wish me bad luck, would that override God?

If God does not want something to happen, no matter what you do, no matter how much you fight, it just won't happen. If God does want something to happen, no matter how much your resist, no matter what, it's going to happen. So why fight it? Why worry? Why have anxiety and doubt? Why let other people get to you? Just relax, go with the flow, and become one with the universe.

ਤੰਤੁ ਮੰਤੁ ਨਹ ਜੋਹਈ ਤਿਤੁ ਚਾਖੁ ਨ ਲਾਗੈ ॥੧॥ ਰਹਾਉ ॥
He is not affected by charms and spells, nor is he harmed by the evil eye. ||1||Pause|| (Ang 818, line 1

Guru Arjan Dev   -  view Shabad/Paurhi/Salok 

I shall continue to keep my hair down, and natural, and loose, and flowy. ;) (Unless I am inside the Gurudwara of course!)
Bhull Chuk Maaf
Christine Kaur

ਰਾਗੁ ਸੂਹੀ ਅਸਟਪਦੀਆ ਮਹਲਾ ੫ ਘਰੁ ੧ (Ang 259)
Raag Soohee, Ashtapadees, Fifth Mehl, First House:
ੴ ਸਤਿਗੁਰ ਪ੍ਰਸਾਦਿ ॥
One Universal Creator God. By The Grace Of The True Guru:
ਉਰਝਿ ਰਹਿਓ ਬਿਖਿਆ ਕੈ ਸੰਗਾ ॥
He is entangled in sinful associations;
ਮਨਹਿ ਬਿਆਪਤ ਅਨਿਕ ਤਰੰਗਾ ॥੧॥
his mind is troubled by so very many waves. ||1||
ਮੇਰੇ ਮਨ ਅਗਮ ਅਗੋਚਰ ॥
The one who is Unapproachable and Incomprehensible; O my mind,
ਕਤ ਪਾਈਐ ਪੂਰਨ ਪਰਮੇਸਰ ॥੧॥ ਰਹਾਉ ॥
how can that Perfect Transcendent Lord be found? ||1||Pause||
ਮੋਹ ਮਗਨ ਮਹਿ ਰਹਿਆ ਬਿਆਪੇ ॥
He remains entangled in the intoxication of worldly love.
ਅਤਿ ਤ੍ਰਿਸਨਾ ਕਬਹੂ ਨਹੀ ਧ੍ਰਾਪੇ ॥੨॥
His excessive thirst is never quenched. ||2||
ਬਸਇ ਕਰੋਧੁ ਸਰੀਰਿ ਚੰਡਾਰਾ ॥
Anger is the outcaste which hides within his body;
ਅਗਿਆਨਿ ਨ ਸੂਝੈ ਮਹਾ ਗੁਬਾਰਾ ॥੩॥
he is in the utter darkness of ignorance, and he does not understand. ||3||
ਭ੍ਰਮਤ ਬਿਆਪਤ ਜਰੇ ਕਿਵਾਰਾ ॥
Afflicted by doubt, the shutters are shut tight;
ਜਾਣੁ ਨ ਪਾਈਐ ਪ੍ਰਭ ਦਰਬਾਰਾ ॥੪॥
he cannot go to God's Court. ||4||
ਆਸਾ ਅੰਦੇਸਾ ਬੰਧਿ ਪਰਾਨਾ ॥
The mortal is bound and gagged by hope and fear;
ਮਹਲੁ ਨ ਪਾਵੈ ਫਿਰਤ ਬਿਗਾਨਾ ॥੫॥
he cannot find the Mansion of the Lord's Presence, and so he wanders around like a stranger. ||5||
ਸਗਲ ਬਿਆਧਿ ਕੈ ਵਸਿ ਕਰਿ ਦੀਨਾ ॥
He falls under the power of all negative influences; (Seeeeeee!!!!!!)
ਫਿਰਤ ਪਿਆਸ ਜਿਉ ਜਲ ਬਿਨੁ ਮੀਨਾ ॥੬॥
he wanders around thirsty like a fish out of water. ||6||
ਕਛੂ ਸਿਆਨਪ ਉਕਤਿ ਨ ਮੋਰੀ ॥
I have no clever tricks or techniques;
ਏਕ ਆਸ ਠਾਕੁਰ ਪ੍ਰਭ ਤੋਰੀ ॥੭॥
You are my only hope, O my Lord God Master. ||7||
ਕਰਉ ਬੇਨਤੀ ਸੰਤਨ ਪਾਸੇ ॥
Nanak offers this prayer to the Saints -
ਮੇਲਿ ਲੈਹੁ ਨਾਨਕ ਅਰਦਾਸੇ ॥੮॥
please let me merge and blend with You. ||8||
ਭਇਓ ਕ੍ਰਿਪਾਲੁ ਸਾਧਸੰਗੁ ਪਾਇਆ ॥
God has shown Mercy, and I have found the Saadh Sangat, the Company of the Holy.
ਨਾਨਕ ਤ੍ਰਿਪਤੇ ਪੂਰਾ ਪਾਇਆ ॥੧॥ ਰਹਾਉ ਦੂਜਾ ॥੧॥
Nanak is satisfied, finding the Perfect Lord. ||1||Second Pause||1||

Christine Kaur

Christine Kaur

Christine Kaur started blogging as an outlet to express the trials of relationships of second generation western born Sikhs like herself.

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