A girl broke my teenage son's heart. He came home devastated. His mother took one look at him and without saying a word, just hugged him, Pavit broke down and sobbed his heart out. Even though it took him a long while, the healing started with that hug.
Once whilst travelling outstation I fell seriously ill. Neither self medication nor the doctors prescription provided relief. I knew, all I had to do was to get home in one piece and my wife would take care of me. I reached home and soon thereafter the dark clouds stopped enveloping me.
A home is not a place; it is a person. That person is usually a woman. Mother, wife, aunt, sister, daughter etc. This woman is our refuge, the one who will always make us feel wanted, cared for and loved.
The indian word for refuge, a safe and sheltered abode is 'Ashrya'. we are where we belong, feel at home, and can rest our head without being judged or harassed.
Nearly all mothers have this natural quality, to create a sense of emotional security, love and care. Similarly nearly all fathers provide that sense of physical and material security.
If people are fortunate they will discover the same traits in their spouse/partner.
Everyone needs that one person and most of us have or had such a person in our life. Unfortunately some of us take them for granted and fail to appreciate that person, who is probably the only reliable refuge in our lives. Then one day they are gone and its only then we sob and moan that we realise our neglect and folly.
My parents are no more and my refuge is my wife, Mohini. One day she too will be not be there, leaving the other alone. I know the survivor will be devastated.
This is why the Guru says that there is only one true refuge of that will always exist. That is the refuge of the Creator which is always there, if we choose to accept this fact. God is not found in holy books, nor in rituals, nor in parroting prayers nor in assembly of the mob. This refuge is discovered only by contemplation and meditation, for God is to be found only within our own being.
That is, the one and only, our real home.
***
Gurvinder Singh
Nov 2018