Life is not easy at all, it keeps on throwing challenging questions or situations, each passing day. It will never halt and it's up to us how we handle them and how we come out of it. Our life is becoming more of a rat race, full of exhaustion and competition. Nobody has enough time for themselves or for their loved ones. Each one of us is running night and day behind one or another thing.
We all want happiness and positivity in our life but nobody knows where to get it. We all want to achieve the best in our life but no one has time to deeply enjoy it. We keep on finding our happiness in different materialistic things and have lost our ability to feel and appreciate small and simple things or acts around us. We have lost that vision. We don't remember that no other superpower or super-person will come to show us the path of happiness. It lies within us.
We are the source of energy whether positive or negative. I think if we face all the hurdles in life with a smiling face, it makes a lot of difference. Somewhere down the line we lost that smile on our face and the kind words which used to enlighten our world as well as others. We have become so impatient, restless, angry, egoistic and rude that we have hurting and unkind words for others. That charisma of a heartfelt smile with sweet words is no more in our life.
The importance of sweet speech is even highlighted in Gurbani. No wonder sweet speech is acknowledged as a "Magic Mantra" in Gurbani. Guru ji says that he likes those people who always speak softly and sweetly, because Gurbani is itself full of sweetness and love. “Mith bolra ji har Sajjan suami mora.” No space for anger and harsh words. Sweet spoken words are Divine to everyone. Sweetness always represents kindness, generosity, compassion, respect, comfort and peace. On the other hand, harsh words always are like holes, nails and scars which last long and never forgotten. Harsh words always generate negativity, pain and suffering. It has bad effects on your body and mental health too. Man’s true nature includes sweet speech. As Gurbani says:
Bin preeti kare bahun batan, kurr bol kurroh phal pave (SGGS P 881)
Those who engage in dialogue without love sow the seeds of animosity and reap hostility.
Tooti preet gayee bur bol (SGGS 933)
With foul words, they sever the ties of love.
Nanak phike boleya, tan man phika hoyee (SGGS P 473)
Toxic words make the body and mind toxic.
As rightly said by our elders, words are like arrows; once they are released, they never return. We should always think twice before uttering unkind words. The damage done by them will last throughout life. These abusive, harsh words generate only heartache and agony. We are not just disturbing the other person, but we ourselves are also getting that pessimistic energy which we all want to run away from. By speaking crude, stinging words we are just increasing our own agony. They burn us from the inside and many end up in health problems such as depression, anger, blood pressure, headaches and even cancer. Thinking and speaking go hand in hand — both are used to create. Therefore, controlling one’s won mind and one’s speech is of the greatest importance in one's own inner transformation.
Rasna phika bolna nit nit hoyee khuar (SGGS P594)
As long as the tongue utters unkind words, you will wander in pain and misery.
Sagal bolan ke mahen beechar (SGGS P872)
Reflect before you say anything.
Let us understand the difference between discussion and argument. Arguments always create conflicts. Some people always have the habit to want to prove their point. They can never appreciate anyone else’s viewpoint. They never truly listen, as they have their mind set on what they want to say next, knowing everything and whatever they do is always right. So, when you are talking too much, you generally talk rubbish and are not ready to listen anyone. You are not compassionate, sympathetic or warm to anyone. So it's good to keep your distance from such people and better to diffuse the argument rather than jump into it. These people will drag you and your energy to misery. Ego is always the centre of such arguments which lead to more nasty and offensive words.
Kahe janam gavavo vair vaad (SGGS P1176)
Why are you wasting your life in arguments that create conflict?
Bahuta bolan jhakan hoyee (SGGS P661)
Don‘t talk too much. It is wasteful.
Murkhee naal na lujhiye (SGGS P 473)
Don’t engage with the foolish and get into useless arguments. It is a waste of energy.
We should never be part of any slander conversations. Never be judgmental or condemn others. Never pass any negative or untrue information. Try not to criticise, provoke or dishonour anyone. Respect everyone's reputation. You are here not to judge people and make comments on their actions whether right or wrong, you are here to pay your own karmas and not incur new ones. For all the rest, leave it to God.
In life, you will have to face such difficult situations, so never just comment on anything for the sake of saying something. Ask yourself, “Does what I am about to say contribute something original or useful? Does it elevate the conversation?” Lies create a web of deceit that is pernicious and unhealthy. Friendships and relationships are wrecked by lack of honesty and trust. With lies there is no space for peace and harmony. It is a lot simpler to be honest. You don’t have to remember what you said because it will always be the same.
Manda kise na aakheay, parh akhar eho bujhiye. (SGGS P 473)
Don’t slander anyone. Even when you think it is true; don’t pass on negative information about people.
In some situations, when you are really angry with another person you may want to say all the bitter, cruel and mean words back to him, so that he should also feel that sadness and torture. But then there will be no difference left between you. You will also be falling to that low level. It's hard to think but not speak, but once you try to compose yourself, you will feel that not speaking negatively will generate inner peace, patience and contentment inside yourself and around you as well. Empathy and forgiveness are the tools which will help you in dealing even seemingly hopeless situations.
Hum nahin chunge bura nahin koyee. (SGGS P 728)
I have no virtues, no one is bad.
Our voice is a gift from God, so let's use it for ethical, kind-hearted, humanitarian communication which can be learned and practiced with patience and mindfulness. Wearing expensive clothes may make your outside appear beautiful, but our sweet or harsh words show how beautiful we truly are. Generous and loving words are melodious to everyone. They foster understanding and respect, strengthen our relationships, and empower us to become agents of peace in the world. They help us to see the divine in everyone and to always love his creation and beings. They carry the very sweetness of Amrit Bani in our own mouths.
Mithat nivi nanaka gunh changiayia tat
Sweetness and humility are the essence of virtues of goodness.