The Sikh Community gathers at the Kent Showare Center to celebrate the Nagar Kirtan
DOWRY THRIVES AMONGST EAST INDIAN COMMUNITY (Courtesy of Aasra Magazine)
Dowry is an age old custom in India. It is a Taboo. Free money, however, is a pleasure for everyone. The Dictionary meaning of "dowry" is: Money, property, or material goods that a bride's family gives to the bridegroom or his family at the time of the wedding. However, today even girl's parents begin seeking dowry from groom if the groom is richer. Money or property is something of bygone days. At one time cows and goats were also considered dowry. Today sponsorship to USA or ticket is much sought after as dowry.
May be it is because of the politics in India, or the Government intent to control the life of common people, or lack of work and equal opportunity or bureaucracy; lot of Indian community has found safe heaven in USA. Lot of Indians feel at home because of the fairly decent weather in the Pacific Northwest. There was a time when dowry gifts were common. Today the main demand is how many guests can you sponsor. These "Sponsored Guests" are introduced as Trophy's during the Wedding Reception. If the girl's parents are rich they are asked to sponsor boy's guests. If the boy is rich then he sponsors girl's relatives. I know of a boy who was saving money to do business but was repeatedly asked to sponsor girl's relatives. Even divorce is accepted to be a cash cow. Today the essence of marriage is lost in "divorce." I have heard all sorts of stories. Lot of people married just to be in this country. One man did "friendly divorce" his Indian bride to marry US citizen so that he can settle in USA. He then divorced his US citizen bride, went back to India and married his own wife. They are all well settled in USA now. A father- in- law wanted the boy to sponsor his sister-in-law for the marriage. He actually intended to sponsor the whole family. The boy wanted the father-in-law to sponsor his friends and relatives. After marriage the father-in-law made his son-in-law's life a hell and made him sponsor. He even threatened divorce. Being a community property the boy was to lose everything. Sadly, the boy had to sponsor the in law's relatives. Another man suggested marrying his brother's daughter to a doctor well settled in USA. When the wedding talks were going through, the old man was dreaming of all his relatives coming for the wedding. He was calling every relative to get their passports and other papers ready. Had the wedding gone through the doctor would have to book a whole plane of his relatives. At one time he was also making lists of unmarried boys and trying to match them to his relatives. He had almost started an "Indian Matchmaking" company.
(Sikh - I am my own Grandfather) A young Indian bride came to USA after marriage. She left behind her young sister who she wanted to sponsor. That was going to take a long time. Her widow father in law said he will go to India and bring her through marriage. The father in law went and married the young sister. When she came to USA he would not divorce her. He said she is his wife. He is not crazy to divorce a young girl. Lot of adults are now marring inter-cast. Even the best Sikh Matchmaker's own son married inter-caste. I had told him of some girl for his son but he was looking for a bargain. Though he owned some franchise stores but his money was mostly coming from Matchmaking deals. All of the match making talks revolve around as to how many guests can one sponsor? The old tradition of "arranged marriage" is fading away. They do not want to do anything with the parent's "dowry sponsorship" mess.
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(left) The Sikh Community gathers at the Kent Showare Center to celebrate the Nagar Kirtan. There was a time when all the celebrations use to take place within the walls of the Gurudwara Sahib. Today we have to book large halls to accommodate the growing community. and (right) Kent Mayor Suzette Cooke addresses the gathering
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| (left) Satnam Singh leads the Sikh Martial Arts and (right) Sikh Martial Arts being performed | |
The only way to flourish or achieve your business goals is to reach out to these communities. It is very easy to connect. It does not matter what faith you believe in, or what religion you follow; by the end of the day we have to put food on the table. Every politician reaches out to the communities. They even try to speak little Punjabi language. And everyone in the gathering applauds as they try to learn the foreign language. If this magazine were in Punjabi alone you may not be reading this article or other poems. I have to reach out to you. ...I hope you will reach out to us.
Sarab J. Singh is an Editor of "India-USA-Connecting Communities" Punjabi English Magazine published from Kent.
