How do you get over replaying old situations, and old relationships in your mind?
We may know that "the past is passed". We know that it's not happening now, but we relive it in our mind, over and over, and the pain of that event comes back. I call it "playing your old video tapes". It's like a home video in your head. We play, and then rewind, and watch the same part over and over again.
To get over it, you have to redirect your attention. Playing old video tapes repetitively in your mind, is an indulgence. It's an emotional indulgence. We use that pain to rationalize our behavior, and justify why we are the way we are.
We get caught up in a fantasy with these old video tapes. "What if I had said this?" "What if he had done that?" "I should have done this" These are are self indulgencies in fantasy. The problem is, we love our pain so much. "It's my pain". We love it because it serves us in some way. It gives us a rationalization.
If you want to let go have to shut off your VCR. To do that you have to redirect your attention. To do that, you focus on what's happening now. The best solution is to find some service to do for someone else. Do some seva - at home, at the Gurdwara, in your community. Focus your attention outside of yourself. When you are taking care of others you are not focused on yourself. When you are serving others, you are not playing old video tapes.
So pull yourself out. Do something. Get up. Go be with a friend. Call someone and say "Hey, lets go serve together". It doesn't matter what it is. Pick up some trash. Pull yourself, out of yourself. Make an effort. Shut off your VCR.